if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
