Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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