So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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