quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
