like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My vagina is officially offended.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
