Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
