so explain again why im purple
no
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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