im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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