She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
