fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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