You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
