when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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