so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
