i think my mom watched the whole time
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
