I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
