I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I smell stomach acid.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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