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If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
