I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
