Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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