I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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