Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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