i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
