booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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