The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
