He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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