I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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