what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
