My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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