I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
