I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
