dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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