He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
