Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
