half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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