is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
