She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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