I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize