there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
