who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My cat gives me a boner
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
