do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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