Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

someone get that fucking seahorse.

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(540): View more from Virginia

My Higher Power is John Stamos

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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(516): View more from New York

you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

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(773): View more from Illinois

okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.

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(210): View more from Texas

Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who

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