Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
