i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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