Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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