i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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