yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
