This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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