ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
