We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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