I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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