I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
