I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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