Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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