I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
