Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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