Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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