just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?