just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
