In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize