just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
