Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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