Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
