I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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