he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
