Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
