I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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