Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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