U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
