I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize