i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
