where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Randomize
